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Parents, Get Involved...
Parents, you play an important role
in helping your children make important personal decisions, like whether to become
sexually active. Far too many of you are ignoring an opportunity to have a significant,
positive influence on you teenager's life. Several studies have shown that most
teens really do care what their parents think and want them to talk to them about life's
important subjects, i.e., sexual behavior. Parents...you need to start talking
to your teenagers...let's start talking about every matter that concerns us!
Parents, please listen to this,
there are some really important facts that you need to be aware of as you seek to inform
your children about sex:
- The word
“sex” itself can mean different things to different people. Express yourself clearly and directly, ask questions
to make sure you are on the same frequency with your teens when it comes to defining words
and terms. In today’s vernacular sex may
mean vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, oral sex, or mutual masturbation. When you want your young people to understand
is that all forms of sex can transmit STDs.
- Again, when you use a
term like STD, make sure your teens understand that there is a multitude of diseases in
this category now, not just a half dozen or so like when you were their age. There are currently more than 30 types of STDs;
some are curable, others are not. HIV
and AIDS is definitely something to discuss with your children. Approximately 18.9 million new cases of STDs occur
each year. Forty-eight percent of new STD
cases in 2000 were among 15 to 24 year olds.
While the
number of teenage pregnancies has recently decreased, our nation still leads all
industrialized countries in children born out of wedlock.
Let’s not be deceived by those who claim that the use of
contraceptives will take care of this problem. Condoms
are not 100% safe, and besides that, not getting pregnant and not getting a disease are
not the only issues relative to not having sex outside the bonds of marriage. There are psychological and spiritual issues at
stake also. Only the practice of abstinence
will answer this dilemma.
- In 2000, approximately
822,000 pregnancies occurred among 15 to 19 year olds.
- Seven out of ten
adolescent mothers drop out of high school.
Listen,
parents…your kids want to know what their behavioral boundaries are…what are the
rules? They want you to define your
families’ standard of behavior and hold them accountable to that standard. They want to know what the consequences of not
living up to your standards for them are and exactly what you expect of them. Here are some important matters to discuss with
them:
- Curfew
- Drinking
alcohol, using tobacco or other drugs
- Who you can ride
in a car with
- Lying to parents
or other adults in authority
- Allowing
opposite sex visitors in your bedroom
- Having friends
over while parents are away
- Age at which
dating can begin
- Guidelines
related to dating
- Clearly stated
family values
- The danger of
“going too far”
- The danger of a
younger girl dating an older guy
- What sex is for
and where it belongs
Every parent feels some degree of discomfort
when is comes to discussing sex with their children, no one said it is easy or pleasant. And, yes, your child will roll their eyes back in
their head and act put out when you suggest that you have a little talk. But, down in their hearts they want you to talk
with them about these matters. Parents…Let’s
Start Talking! Charles
Cook, D.Min., Executive Director, Focus Community Incorporated
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